Eye witness stories

The legend lives on!

Our troops have caught real live photograph of The Bikers The Bike's console. Lo ' an behold as the maddness opens before thee. This is really something, I personally (webmaster, yours truly) have to respect the parktime "disk" on the - well handlebar console? You have a serious operator here, note the alarm clock. Staying on time, no matter what.


"I have also seen him, and after the encounter nothing has been the same. The encounter was in the Autumn 2000. It happened in the broad daylight, in the center of Helsinki. Nobody else seemed to notice him, except me. I noticed him and knew instantly, who he was. He rode his bike and looked somehow worn-out. He was carrying a big bag. He had also a heavy chain for locking his bike. The typical, strange helmet was on; I don´t remember anymore, if he was wearing goggles or not. He rode his bike past me and I felt suddenly ashamed for walking. Of course he vanished and I had no chances of trying to follow him.

Next night I had a very intensive dream about trying to follow the Mad Biker. In the end of the dream I was standing in a cross-road or a small square with many roads leading away. I felt like having no direction in my life or nowhere to go. He had vanished again. I would like to see him again, so that he could show me the way."

Bomb Jack


"Back in summer of '99 I used to cruise around Helsinki in the night-time, almost every night. During one unnaturally dark summernight I was once again heading back home, I guess it was around 2 am. That's when I saw him, riding on the other side of the street with that familiar steady pace. At that time I was becoming a little obsessed with Mad Biker, so without hesitation I turned to follow him, stalking him from my side of the street.

This went on for about a half a mile, when something unbeliavable happened: he dismounted! This was the first time Mad Biker was seen to stop. I pulled over and continued my surveillance from a distance. The next thing I saw him do was even more puzzling; he took a heavy chain from his sportsbag and locked his bike to the railing of the bridge we were on. At that moment I noticed something I initially missed in the heat of the chase, another shitty-looking bike locked to that same railing ten feet forward from MB. He walked to that one, unlocked it and rode on, leaving his previous bike behind. What the hell? He changed his bike in the middle of the night in some god-forsaken suburban street! Before I could regain my composure he had disappeared in to the darkness he rode from."

President


The Government knows everything!

I have a friend who knows a very trustworthy police officer who works in the bike troops of Helsinki Police Department. This officer has told that he took part in an top secret mission called Operation Banana (Banana simply signifying B: Biker). The operation revealed the secrets of the so-called Mad Biker or Crazy Helmet to the cops. Now the government wants to hide the truth, because ordinary citizens could't bear the knowledge.

The Mad Biker is not alone. The Loony Riders have a mighty network spreading all over the world. You can already see them in almost every major cities. I know only little about them, but one fact is that The Loony Riders make biking look like an activity of crazy people, and because of that normal citizens avoid cycling and drive their cars more than they would otherwise. This is a part of Loony Riders' and gov's plans to change the climate, extraterraforming our planet suitable for the alien life forms they are collaborating with.

I'm glad you have started to investigate this mess in public. People need to know. The aliens have to be stopped, before it is too late.

I have to keep my identity as a secret, because I'm afraid of what They would do if They knew.

Yours, K

Underlife BC answers:

Dear K, the anonymous. You are nuts. Insane. It would be best for you and everybody, if you would stop spreading such paranoid rubbish. Think about your family, think about yourself. Your 8-year old cute red haired daughter (going to School of Myllypuro, class 2C), for example, would be quite embarrassed if she knew that her father is such a schitzo. From now on, keep very silent about "Operation Banana" and "Loony Riders" and get yourself some treatment. They have quite good pills nowadays.

The club and our ethics - Lehdistö / Press - Eräs syntyhistoria - Our Helmet Campaign: a Scientific article - Miks mä pyöräilen? - jääspiidvei - 2002 tulokset - kiihdytyssivut - The legend of Mad Biker - Yhteydet - connections - Go home / mee himaan